How to Make a Pencil

As the school year winds down, the growing problem of misplaced pencils remains prominent. So I’ve decided to teach y’all how to make your own No.2 pencils so you don’t have to bother anyone else about it.

To make a pencil, you first need a support for the lead. Here’s the first problem. What wood can be easily sharpened while being tough to break? The answer is cedar wood, used by all pencil manufacturers. Once you get the wood, cut them into ⅜in. by ½in. by 8in. long slabs. Cut a groove down both ⅜ x 8in. faces for the lead. Then, split the wood in half along the ½ x 8in. face and insert the lead. Finally, glue the two pieces together and trim into a cylinder-ish shape.

And voilà! A new pencil for you to lose in less than 24 hours.

(If any of you actually do this, send us a picture! This post is satire and we do not expect you to actually make a pencil. That would cost you more than buying a pencil.)